Office One-Shots/2015/October

Translator: kizakis

Day 1 - First Names

Character	Commu
	Um, Kamiya. There’s something I’ve always been curious about.
	Hm? What is it, Makio? You’re acting unusually meek; is something bothering you?
	No, I was just wondering why you call Soichiro by his last name.
	Hm, that’s true… you call everyone else by their first names.
	Why is that… huh. Hmm, that’s what I’ve called him since high school.
	Why don’t you try changing it up and calling him by his first name? It might be surprisingly papi♪
	Is that how it is? Well, I’ll give it a try. Alright, here I go, Shinonome. Ahem… Hey… Soichiro.
	…This doesn’t feel right, does it… Please call me by my last name after all…
	Yeah… that’s fine… I’ll keep calling you Shinonome like always…

Day 2 - Bittersweet

Character	Commu
	Sigh…
	What’s up, Genbu. You look really down. Something happen?
	I spilled coffee on my clothes… it feels like the world is ending… The stains… I need to hurry and get the stains out…
	Nothing’s made him this sad before... wait, you keep something to wash out stains with you!?
	Alright, perfect! Sorry to make you wait, Suzaku!
	It, it’s OK…! I’m glad you’re back to your old self… so, should we get going?
	Meow~!
	Ugh…! Don’t come at me with your muddy paws… achoo…!
	Hey, Nyako~…! Stop playing with Genbu…! For a lot of reasons…!

Day 3 - Food for the Cat

Character	Commu
	Kuh…that Soichiro… Putting a spiritual barrier on the office door, how impudent…! Fu, but for this trifling thing, my magical power… Hee…! W-what was that sound…! It couldn’t be my foes, the followers of light!? ...Is that a cat? If I’m not mistaken, that’s Suzaku’s… I see, were you imprisoned? Come, come to me… Ah…hm, you bravely stand your fur on end in fear of me…in that case… Fuhaha, I shall welcome your brave soul with food for beasts! Come now, I’ll make you a feast…!
	Asselin, I’ve come to get you… what are you meowing at by yourself…? What’s that smell…?
	Fwah…!? Soichiro…!? I didn’t notice…! Ahem… Thank you for coming, but please wait a moment…until the feast is complete!”

Day 4 - And Food for Suzaku

Character	Commu
	Ah, Nyako! So you were here! I was looking for you!
	Meow~
	What are you eating? Wait, that looks good.
	This is…a message from Cafe Parade… I see, so Asselin-anisan made this, huh.
	Wasn’t that nice! I’ll have to go thank him later!
	Meow!
	Anyway, this looks good. Hey, Nyako, can I have a bite?
	Hiss!!
	Woah!? What, it’s just a little… ouch… You little! T-take this… nwaah!!
	This is the first time I’ve seen a man fight with a cat over food…. And it’s my own partner to boot…

Day 5

Character	Commu
	Hey, Soichiro, can everyone from Osaka do funny-man straight-man?*
	No, people seem to think that, but the reality is different. People naturally have their likes and dislikes and strengths and weaknesses when it comes to comedy. Like I got bad grades in comedy in middle school, so it was difficult for me.
	Wait, you had comedy classes in school!?
	Yes, you choose whether to study funny or straight when you enroll, and I chose straight. For straight man practice, you had to wear a strong spring on your arm and practice swinging every day.
	Really…? I had no idea…!
	So that unimaginable training is how you got your current straight man power?
	…Um, I’d like someone to retort soon…

* Boke (funny man) and tsukkomi (straight man) are the two roles in the manzai comedy duo routine. The boke is the air-headed funny one and the tsukkomi is the deadpan one. It’s typically associated with Osaka, where Soichiro is from. A common feature of boke and tsukkomi routines is that the tsukkomi will smack the boke on the head, which is why Soichiro jokes he needs to train his arm.

Day 6 - A Battle Without a Winner

Character	Commu
	Hm…? Ah, Genbu, is that hoop on your arm…
	Yeah, earlier Saki-anisan forced it on… I mean, gave it to me. By the way, it seems it’s called a scrunchie. …Don’t tell me you got one too?
	Yeah… and he asked me if I’m interested in girls’ clothes…!
	I don’t want to imagine you in girls’ clothes… ugh, it gives me the chills.
	Heh, now that you mention it, you’d look horrible. You’re too tall. Hahaha!
	Hmph, take a good look in the mirror. I’d look better than you, at least.
	Huuh!? Then why don’t we settle who’d look better with a match!?
	Alright, I’ll be your partner. Let’s do this! …Hah!? No, wait, Suzaku, calm down… stop, this battle has no winner…!

Day 7 - Obsessed with Fall Coordinates

Character	Commu
	♪♫
	Hahaha, you’re in really high spirits today. Did something good happen?
	Ah, I know! Hey, Saki, did you change your scrunchie? It’s different from usual.
	You got it~! Isn’t it cute and fall-like? It was love at first sight when I saw it at the shop. There’s still more that’s different. Can you guess them all~?
	Um…ah, I know. Your nails. They’re nice and fall-like.
	Ping pon! But there’s still more. C'mon, take a closer look!
	What is it…! Hmm… Ha…!! Could you be someone imitating Saki…!?
	Bubbu! Bubububu!! My makeup is totally different! Why didn’t you notice…? You’re not going home until you find everything, so you better give a papi effort!
	Well, looks like it’s going to be a long battle. I’ll first go prepare some tea just in case.

Day 8 - A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Character	Commu
	Uh… romanticism, impressionism… art nouveau…? Cu, cupit..? Ugh…
	It’s cubism. This album has pretty good taste. The explanations are also detailed and thorough. Even you’ll experience the art season.*
	Hey, isn’t our next concert an art concert? I know nothing about art, so I think I should study up a bit.
	In that case, actually looking at it to experience it is best. A picture is worth a thousand words, as they say. I know all about the museums around here. I’ll be your guide.
	Oh, as expected of my partner! I’m in your debt!
	Pff, there’s an exhibition I’m interested in. It’ll be killing two birds with one stone.
	Hehe, we won’t lose to THE Kogadou; let’s put on an intense show, burning!

* Fall is regarded as the best season to appreciate art in Japan.